I don’t like it. My favorite form of exercise is lying on a hammock, reading a book. Leaving the hammock with an enthusiastic stretch and going to mix a Mohito is a great activity. I love walking,especially in a city where you can walk and look and barely notice that you are moving; but parks are good too. I just hate exercise simply for the sake of exercise. Gyms and classes where sweaty bodies jiggle in unison are the worst. I have tried Yoga ( um, about 15 years ago) and really enjoyed that but it tends to involve time and the usurping of the one family car, ergo, Beauty.
But here it is: confession time. I ran 100 metres of the teacher race at the athletics day and my hip hurt for a scary number of days afterwards. 100 metres! That is not a lot. Trooper came up to afterwards, all sympathy and condescending smile and said:
“Oh don’t worry, not that many people laughed.”
I am out of shape and it is not good. I just want to go out for a walk and not meet a lot of cows and some dare devil Boda drivers. I am surrounded by people who exercise like manic people. There are hacks and bike rides and 10K runs and triathlons; there are yoga retreats and after school squash games and staff soccer games. There is even a super intense Masters Swim Program. Who are these people and why can’t I be like them? They are a different breed and I look at them with some curiosity, akin to Gorilla Trekking perhaps. They never jiggle when they walk, in fact they are all toned in all the right places. I have seen the calf muscles, there is a healthy bulge.
So what to do. There is no point sitting around wishing I was back in Montreal with my dog and those glorious long walks on the mountain. Yet I am doing a lot of that.
Next week I am being kidnapped and taken to a secret and very “zen” location to try a Yoga class. Let’s see what happens. Maybe this little fish will bite.