Confession time. I am not one of those.

EXERCISE.

I don’t like it. My favorite form of exercise is lying on a hammock, reading a book.  Leaving the hammock with an enthusiastic stretch and going to mix a Mohito is a great activity. I love walking,especially in a city where you can walk and look and barely notice that you are moving; but parks are good too. I just hate exercise simply for the sake of exercise. Gyms and classes where sweaty bodies jiggle in unison are the worst. I have tried Yoga    ( um, about 15 years ago) and really enjoyed that but it tends to involve time and the usurping of the one family car, ergo, Beauty.

But here it is: confession time. I ran 100 metres of the teacher race at the athletics day and my hip hurt for a scary number of days afterwards. 100 metres! That is not a lot. Trooper came up to afterwards, all sympathy and condescending smile and said:

“Oh don’t worry, not that many people laughed.”

I am out of shape and it is not good. I just want to go out for a walk and not meet a lot of cows and some dare devil Boda drivers. I am surrounded by people who exercise like manic people. There are hacks and bike rides and 10K runs and triathlons; there are yoga retreats and after school squash games and staff soccer games. There is even a super intense Masters Swim Program. Who are these people and why can’t I be like them? They are a different breed and I look at them with some curiosity, akin to Gorilla Trekking perhaps. They never jiggle when they walk, in fact they are all toned in all the right places. I have seen the calf muscles, there is a healthy bulge.

So what to do. There is no point sitting around wishing I was back in Montreal with my dog and those glorious long walks on the mountain. Yet I am doing a lot of that.

Next week I am being kidnapped and taken to a secret and very “zen” location to try a Yoga class. Let’s see what happens. Maybe this little fish will bite.

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4 Comments

Filed under How old am I?

4 responses to “Confession time. I am not one of those.

  1. Funny timing – I just posted on what it was like to return to the netball court after, like, 20 years, in order to get some exercise!!
    (and even though I bagged my yoga experiences out in another recent post, thats just my narky, cynical sense of humour, because I do in fact love it. Hope you enjoy it too!)
    Its a wacky world, the world of sport and fitness….

  2. angela ( jhscrapmom )

    oh my friend;), i to am surrounded by triathletes and masters swimmers. people who thrive on the boston…and consider the montreal and ottawa halfs an enjoyable way to have an easy weekend. my best friends have stickers that proclaim “26.2” stuck to their vehicles.

    they are fit and gregarious and have enviable stamina.

    however…they look damn good in the pictures i take of them running and swimming and biking. i have come to terms with being the one on the side…

    and the one with boobs.

    ask their husbands…all that running? that incredible low body fat count?
    yeah…no boobs.

    just helping you look on the bright side:).

    that is a big deal apparently;)

  3. Erika

    I am so glad to read that there is someone else who do not get this exercise thing. I know it is good for me, but I just do not enjoy it. Here in HK there are a lot of very good looking people who both spend a lot of money and time to look the way they do and the funny thing is, it puts me off even more. The sporty people seem to have some kind of cult-feeling going that I know I will never tap into. Enjoy the yoga, tried it and liked it but not into it like books, food, shoes, art and other slow calorie-burners.

  4. cassandra

    I too agree with you! Living in Denver- there are pregnant with the toddler on the back running a marathon. My question is why do the athletic ones always try to get us on their side? Why can’t they be on their side and just leave us alone.

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