More than you probably want to know.

I really do have the oddest luck. I had a highly incompetent person give me a bikini wax today.

I am not one who naturally loves the spa. I get my hair cut around every 4 months and always swear I will go back after 2. I rarely get my hair blow dried before a big occasion, although whenever I do I just feel fabulous. I love waxed legs and underarms but just can’t be bothered to give up the time needed to make it happy. I frankly get very bored and antsy when someone is doing something beautifying to me. I know some people just love it and I sort of wish I did too ‘cause then I’d look more like one of those super polished European diplomat’s wives who devotes some of her free time to self maintenance. I always envy them just a bit and resolve, after clinking wine glasses or passing them in a school hallway, to put in a few extra hours at the spa.   I have somehow convinced myself that with the minimal I do, I look better enough.

The three things that I do do, and pretty regularly, are pedicure, eyebrows and a bikini wax. I live in the heat, I do appear in bathing suits with some frequency, I show my toes every day and my eyebrows are right there on my face and make a significant difference. I only started these three things in earnest when we moved to Trinidad. A winter in Montreal might find small forests growing on my body and I am not sure I saw my toes much between September and May.

So that, there, in a nutshell is just more information than you needed about me, but it is all relevant for the story that follows.

This morning I was so bored by the prospect of the spa that I decided to forgo the pedicure since it would take too long.  I convinced myself that the chipped brown polish could be seen as part of a frantic end of term mad rush.   And I preferred the idea of going shopping for a plastic Christmas tree with my family. So I opted for the eyebrow threading and bikini wax. The threading, for those of you who don’t know, is a way of removing eyebrow hair with a piece of thread held in a triangular shape between two hands and some teeth. Yes, this is how she appears standing over me when I open my eyes. She threads the thread through my very short eyebrow hair, removing those she deems unruly. Well today, she cut me, Just slightly, a tiny tear in my skin, where can you just discern a small red dot or two, but enough to burn. Then the bikini wax lady ( and why did I go back when it was so bad last time? Too lazy to find another place? ) burnt my inner thigh. Very inner. I will stop here so as not to put off my daughters from ever having a bikini wax ( you should, it is the very best way) and any ex students of mine who are starting to cringe right now. Let it just be said that I will not be going back there. Unless it is to complain and have her fired.

So odd luck, no? Considering the enormous allergic reaction I had to a bug bite on my thigh last week. ( Now healed thanks to three days of steroids.)

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